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View Full Version : Duke Nukem Forever....unfortunately sucks ass (360)



KamisoriX
06-09-2011, 11:13 PM
Yep, I got it since yesterday (the store I bought the BALLS OF STEEL ED. had it but released date is tomorrow here in germany) and been playing for a bit. I was bored from the start and actually had to forced myself to keep playing till i just turned it off not even caring what happens next.

I got the XBOX360 version sicne that's where I do all my gaming lately or for a while now. I wanted to try the PC version but steam locked it till tomorrow when the actual release date has arrived.

Remember when Doom3 came for XBOX and ya looked at the PC version and laught at the box port? well...D3 on the old XBOX looks better than DNF. I'm not joking. Ok, the resolution is far less but when it comes to texture quality and frame-rate D3xbox shits all over DNF. Frame rate is another thing. WOW!!! 14 years of fuck ups really shows in this POS. I had to quit at a boss fight because the screen was stuttering so bad that I lost all interest in a game that has done nothing but bore me so far.

The sound is alright i guess. Ya hear the same one liner over and over till ya wish you were one f the aliens just to shut duke up. I've seen porno movies with better scrips and that says alot (sadly also about me XD ).

the control is alright and lets ya choose between well known titles(Freeman, MC and Dutycalls or just default) and such but the movement on screen is VERY slow (regardless of option setting) and sluggish. there is an option for aim assist which doesn't work. now with a mouse and keyboard it's not a big deal but controllers aren't the most precise tools in the industry and once ya spent alot of time with console FPSs you know that without aim assist console shooters just turns into a fight with re-adjustments. it's even worse when the enemy is constantly strafing back and forth. Well, I guess there are ppl who consider themself hard to da core and want to play it this way, I don't.

story...Aliens coem to earth (same aliens as back then) and steal all the girls so duke kills them all. that's about it.

The levels feel boring and while they tried to add some mini games in it like the bench pressing or slot machines or pinball, it doesn't help a game that is just boring in and outside of its core. seriously, I really wanted to like this game. I've been playing FPS since I shit myself in diaper but this game would have been better off by being a phantom project. that way we still had our hopes and dreams which Gear Box just pissed all over with this waste of media storage. Heck, even the title screen is stuttering with inconsistent frames and it's not even rendered in real time.

what a shame, what a shame. I guess there will be a shitload of returns to GameStop for the console version and a bad rep for GEARBox. Btw. the Demo of the game is exactly how the full game is. so you might be able to judge it from there. it's not getting better. quite the opposite. there were so many empty sections in this game where i was just running around with not one fucking enemy anywhere. you are restricted to 2!!!! guns at a time. WTF?!?!?!?!?! well, most weapons are average at best anyway but wasn't that what made those kinda games? having a stock of all kickassery to your disposal so you always know what to pull out when a certain type of enemy is facing ya.

Everything you can do wrong with DNF GearBox did wrong. except the retarded one liners that stopped being funny 10 years ago. and tits...lots of it. ugly modelled and textured tits. heck there are even tits just hanging out of the wall in the hive level and you can slap them (no joke).

There was recently a game released on XBLA based on the crap movie Battle LA. that game cost ya only 1/4 but gives you 10x the fun in its 2 hour ride than this game will ever do. and that's something in my book.

And everyone who thinks DNF kicks ass is a guinea cock sucker because I'm never wrong and my opinion is an omni-fact XD


PS: I'm planin on coming back more often to GH if I get the time. but it looks so....deserted XD

Chevalr1c
06-09-2011, 11:48 PM
Thanks for the review Kami, and welcome back.
And indeed it is a bit a deserted place here. GM and Interman are gone, Gazz hops in but seldomly and the only real regulars here are Slaymate, Iczer, Nxs and myself (formely known as Richard_Rahl, but I changed the name after you left for a while). Ocasionally DHrox and Vovox post here, and that's about it. Apart from two-time posters who ask things like why game A doesn't run on a G31 and some indie devs.

KamisoriX
06-10-2011, 12:07 AM
ah well, been like that for a while now. is there no GH promotion going anymore? And the sig makers are all gone too XD

Iczer
06-10-2011, 12:52 AM
Ooooo, Chev forgot the adbots!! :P

I've been banninating a whole lot 'o them lately, though thankfully nowhere near the amount a little while back.

There are still promos occasionally, last one I think was a contest that gave away some console maintenance stuff and a Kinect actually.

KamisoriX
06-10-2011, 06:28 AM
why do I have the feeling I'm the only idiot who bought DNF? XD

Iczer
06-10-2011, 06:57 AM
Well, it doesn't come out in the US until the 14th, so there's a bit of time yet before it's out here. Other than that, after the development hell that game went through there ain't no way in hell I'm touching it until I see either a demo or some reviews from sources I trust.

KamisoriX
06-10-2011, 07:40 AM
the demo has been out for a couple of days...but I think it was consoles only for preorders or so. funny that europe gets that POS before US since its a US game.
I guess mixing 14 years of fuck ups with some modern FPS aspects like limited guns and loading times straight from PS1/2 era wasn't the secret ingredient to make it tasty XD

Slaymate
06-10-2011, 11:58 AM
after all these years of waiting I'll be trying DNF this weekend.

DHrox
06-13-2011, 12:34 PM
I tried the demo. It sucks. I knew it was going to, but whatever. Gearbox already angered me with the new Brothers in Arms announcement, so DNF is less a slap in the face than it would normally be.

Iczer
06-13-2011, 08:51 PM
The PC version last night had 4 reviews up on Metacritic and was actually looking like it might be good, but now it's up to 8 and the averaged score has dropped down to the low 60s. Granted a LOT of the reviewers there (professional, not user) are from places I've never heard from before, so take them with a grain of salt I guess.

From the sound of it they've tweaked the overall gameplay a LOT from DN3D, changing to the stupid "ZOMG 2 GUNZ ONLI!!!" Halo-style combat where you have to constantly pick and choose what weapons you want to carry, and gone are health pickups in favor of regenerating health. Gone are the days of running like a little sissy praying to your various deities that the health pack you didn't grab earlier is still there, gone are the days of getting tired of the shrink ray and opting to switch to one of the other 8 guns you were carrying... I'm not saying change is a bad thing, but why change what doesn't need to be changed?

KamisoriX
06-13-2011, 09:30 PM
the only thing I've read is that ya don't consider me as a pro, Iczer....you rather believe some random stranger on the inet? XD

Iczer
06-13-2011, 10:53 PM
HAH! I was talking about the reviews on Metacritic, so unless you work for GameStar, Bit-Gamer, Gameblog.fr, and the like... :p

I'm also talking of the PC version, which I THOUGHT would be a bit better since the PC is where Duke has his roots. Plus I don't have a 360 or PS3 (yet). :p

KamisoriX
06-14-2011, 05:34 PM
well, played it on the PC at a friend and the loading time is ALOT better than on console. But still annoying when ya consider a level is about 15-20 minutes long and ya get hit with another loading screen.
Btw. gamestar is one of the bigger videogame (PC) mags in germany. and they kinda suck up to fanboys so if they give a game 80 points it's more a 60 points game. I think they are afraid of the fans or so. XD

PS: Alice: Madness Returns got released. w00t w00t. pickin it up tomorra. It has rather average ratings but I loved the first one and it comes with a remake of it XD