The real Star Wars 3

During my lunchbreak a few days ago, i found myself putting the company bandwidth to good use by surfing around on Amazon.com. While there i found this curious "review" of Star Wars 3. Since it passed the snorting-coffee-from-your-nose test, i thought i'd share with all of you. Enjoy! ;)

I predict that, since this will be the "last" Star Wars film, it will be a radical departure from all the others. Since this is already a guaranteed blockbuster, Lucas will go hog-wild with this movie. Obi-Wan will start shooting heroin out of boredom, and pukes on Anakin which makes him turn to the dark side. Mace Windu's Jedi powers become so great that he grows a giant Jedi afro that shoots laser beams, and quotes random lines from the bible which starts to annoy Yoda, so Yoda chokes him to death. Padme gets caught in the crossfire of a battle, lapses into a coma, gives birth to Luke and Leia while in the coma. Then Anakin, using the Force, wakes her by plunging his hand into her chest and restarting her heart. Later on Padme dies of boredom while talking to some architect guy. Chewbacca returns and has a brief gay love affair with Jar Jar. Palpatine, while guiding Anakin, pulls a prank on him. They go shopping for Halloween masks, and he glues the Darth Vader mask on him. They go to the Senate and Palpatine says, "Hey everybody, get a load of mask boy!" Everyone laughs but the sealant practically burns his face off. This makes Anakin/Darth so mad he kills all the Jedi except for two. Using the cloning machines, he clones himself into a midget he names Mini-Darth. Count Dooku is so annoyed with Mini-Darth he sucks his blood and then kills him. The Count suddenly perishes when a bunch of giant trees squash him. Then the movie closes with R2D2 and C3Po rapping and break dancing to Meco's version of the Star Wars theme.

lol

Don't like the new SW, only the old ones.
But I'm one of the guys who rather dream of electric sheeps :dennis: :thumbup:

The Old SW's ruled (they had better looking ships anyway)




:starwars:

But spaceballs wuz also kewl

I always wondered why the robots and ships in episode 1,2 and 3 appeared more advenced than 4,5 and 6 :Oo: :dennis:

Besides Anakin became Darth Vader because he didn't get the girl, who is like 200 years older then him....figures :dennis:

Yeah thats kinda strange but now that i have read the info about SW3 i dont have 2 see it saves me a couple of euro's

Wouldn't it be funny if Samuel L. Jakson is Lukes daddy. Like a soap touch so more chicks watching it.
Why did boba Fett decided to go with red and not Blue like his daddy(sort of daddy).
Why didn't mark hamilton got any good movie parts after SW

All this Qs are still open and will be explaint in Star Wars Episode 0.
What really is funny is that they made the episodes 1,2 and 3 to explain how everything is the way it is sinse episode 4 but now we don't know why things are the way they are before episode1. :dennis:

The real question is: does anyone really care anymore? Like most people i thought the original trilogy was awesome, and they will be a required part of any DVD library. The new trilogy is purely a special FX show, and they aren't that bad if you can come to peace with that fact.

The new SW's SUCK! The classics are so good. Empire Strikes Back is my favorite, everything owns. These new ones don't seem like a Star Wars film. Too modern, too flashy. I definately want the Origianl Trilogy when/if it comes out on DVD. I have the very first editions on tape and I've watched them so many times...

Originally posted by Sarafan Lord@Dec 6 2003, 06:23 PM
The real question is: does anyone really care anymore?

Not really... I'd have to admit that I already forgot the plot of episode 2. Can someone refresh my memory? :Oo: