Jokes

Originally posted by Slinky2397@Jan 3 2004, 09:43 PM
More of a humorous depiction than a joke:

Loooll

An old lady got into a tram during the rush hour. She looked around for a seat, but they were all taken. So she approached a young man and said:

"Young man, would you be so kind as to let me have your seat?"

The young man didn't even turn his head to look at her

"I'm talking to you young man" - the lady said angrily.

The man continued to stare outside as if he had heard nothing...

"What's the matter with today's youth - the old lady raised her voice - they don't have any respect for old people any more... Shame on you!"

The young man stood up and said:

"OK, OK, here, sit down, grandma... but drive carefully!"

Q: What do you call a quadrapalegic hanging on a wall?
A:"Art"

Q: What do you call a quadrapalegic swimming in the ocean?
A:"Bob"

Q:What do you call a quadrapalegic laying in front of a door?
A:"Matt"

Q:What do you call a quadrapalegic in a pile of leaves?
A:"Russell"

Q:Whats long, hard, and f#$*s old people?
A:Osteoperosis
:thumbup:



Those a accouple of my faveorite one liners.


Edit: Sorry I just now saw the rule about one joke per post.

A man walks into a bar with a sandwich on his shoulder.

The bartender turns, looks at him and says, ''Sorry sir, we don't serve food here!!''

That joke was so dry my lips cracked. :P

Hey. I'm sorry that I couldn't have revised this post earlier. I hadn't visited gamershell in a while. I really do apologize to anyone that I may have affended. Especially you Greywolf. I am very sorry. I didn't mean it to hurt anyone and hope that you can forgive me. The damage has been done, but I hope that this post can make up for just some of it. Instead I've decided to post a new joke that is alot cleaner and far funnier:

There one was an old couple. Their names were Martha and Slappy. Every year they would go to the local fair and one year there was an acrobatic plain ride that costed $10. Slappy asked Martha if he could go but Martha said, "It is ten dollars Slappy. And ten dollars is ten dollars." Well the next year came along and Martha and Slappy went to the fair. The same airplane ride was there and Slappy asked Martha if he could go but Martha would just say, "It is ten dollars Slappy. And ten dollars is ten dollars." Well, year after year that same plane ride would be at the fair and Slappy would want to go, but year after year Martha would tell him, "It is ten dollars Slappy. And ten dollars is ten dollars." Finally one year Slappy told Martha, "Martha. I'm 70 years old and I would really like to go on that plane ride!" But Martha just responded with, "It is ten dollars Slappy. And ten dollars is ten dollars." Well the pilot had been listening to this arguement for all of these years so he said, "I'll tell you what. I will let you fly with me for free. But only if you promise to be quite and not make a sound. Otherwise you will have to pay me ten dollars." Well Martha thought that the deal sounded fair so she and Slappy got in. The pilot then took off and did all of the acrobatic twist, turns, and barrel rolls. Then he landed, looked over to Slappy and said, "You know Slappy. I have to hand it to you. I really thought that you would have made a sound." Slappy then replied, "I would have said something when Martha fell out, but then again, 'ten dollars is ten dollars.'"

Now that's got to be the most disgusting racist joke I've ever heard! :nxs: How long do we have to take this bulls**t by you white people! How long, I say! :rant:

As a black man I am officially offended by this joke! Racists!

Originally posted by Greywolf@Jan 16 2004, 09:56 AM
Now that's got to be the most disgusting racist joke I've ever heard! :nxs: How long do we have to take this bulls**t by you white people! How long, I say! :rant:

As a black man I am officially offended by this joke! Racists!

Ok... Here is one in favour of coloured ppl!! It shows how stupid white ppl can be

A man comes to a doctor. He says: Yesterday I saw this black man on TV with a 40 centimeter long dick! I want it to!! Ok, says the doctor, no problem. All u have to do is hang a brick on ur dick, and walk around with it for about one month!! So the man follows the advice of the doctor, and he's a month long walking around with a brick hanging on his dick. After the month he goes back to the doctor. The doctor aks: is everything ok, I mean did it work? Well, says the man, it ain't exactly longer, but he sure is black!!!

A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, ''Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?''

Then the lady answered, ''Excuse me, I think this is a goose.''

And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.''

A man was carying a box full of holes... but he noticed one was missing. He went back looking for that hole... and fell in it :bucky!:

EDIT: btw, my previous post was a joke too