Jokes

How does michael jackson pick his nose?


From a catalogue

A frog walks into a bank needing a loan. He looks at the teller's name tag that her name is Patricia Whack. He says," Hello, Ms. Whack, I need to take out a $100 loan." The teller regards the frog curiously and says," The bank will have to have collateral for that loan. What have you got?" Thre frog produced a small figurine of a pink elephant and gave it to her and said,"Here, this'll work. Don't worry, my name is Kermit Jagger, my dad is Mick Jagger. We know everybody here at the bank." The teller thinks about it for a minute and says,"Let me go talk to the bank manager about this," and heads off to her boss' office. She tells the bank manager, "Sir, there's a frog out there who says he needs a $100 loan and this is all he had for collateral," holding out the small figurine,"Do you even know what this is?"

The bank manager says,




wait for it...






wait for it.....












"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

I know crackpot said 1 joke per post, but I figured these were short and pretty crud anyway! Anyway here goes...

Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing?

A: Because she had no arms.


Q: What do you call a russian guy with 3 testicles?

A: Hudia Nickobolokov
:Oo:

Q: What do you call a chinese guy with 1 testicle?

A: Wo Wen Wong

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.

The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"

The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over."

The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."

The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance old man. So, just to be fair I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by.

He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM! He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Man, . . . third gay rooster I bought this month."

Moral of this story.... Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!

My computer is like Britney Spears; cheap, white, and plastic.