Funny Jokes

Originally posted by Xpendable@Mar 11 2005, 09:51 AM
hey Kru how come you are not funny anymore ?








;) j/k

pwnt :P

a married couple is quite happy with each other. however, the woman of the two can be quite agitated about her man's behaviour. what this guy is making his wife so angry about is the fact that he, every morning around 8 A.M, starts farting like a pig while sleeping. the smell and the sound almost pushes the poor woman out of bed. she did everything, but to no avail. her husband says he can't do anything about it, but his wife doesn't think so. 'you are going to fart your guts out one day!' she says angry.

on a particular Christmas morning, the wife stood up early, to prepare the Christmas dinner later that day. while stuffing the turkey, she heard the good old noises from above. 'exactly on time' she said to herself while glansing at her watch. clearly her husband was at it again. then an incredible idea struck her. she took al the turkey inerts she could find, ran upstairs, got to her husband and dropped it all in his boxershort. she went down and continued to prepare the dinner.

a couple of minutes later and icy cold roar of agony filled the house, and the woman chuckled of pleasure. however, it took quite a long time for the husband to get down. finally he stood in front of his wife, clearly sweating but with a triomfant smirk on his face.

'you were right' he suddenly says. 'it DID happen'.

'but with a little Vasaline and THESE two fingers i managed to stuff it all back in!'





loved that one!

hahaha nice 1

funny

A man was desperate to go to the toilet & he had been eating beans for tea. As there was no public toilet nearby he looked in desperation for a place to squat. Spotting the garden of a nearby house he sneaked in thru the gate & had barely dropped his trousers before he let fly & downloaded the entire contents of his bowels. As he stood up & buckled his belt he casually looked down & to his amazement there was no turd to be seen anywhere. Back at home he could not rest for wondering what had happened to his turd so went back to that same garden that night with a torch in hand & began poking about with a stick. Suddenly a loud voice shouted 'what are you doing ? ' startled he blurted out ' I'm looking for my wallet I lost earlier today . Thats o.k. then said the man, I thought you might have been the dirty git who crapped all over my tortoise !