How would this sound in a note to a girl?

[Ezri]

I typed (using the Google Translator) it in German because she is a foreign exchange student from Germany and I thought it might be more romantic that way:
"Hallo Katherina, schrieb ich dieses Schreiben in Deutsch, nur für Sie. Würde es Ihnen etwas ausmachen, wenn ich ging mit Ihnen Ihre nächste Klasse? Wir könnten sogar zu Fuß draußen auf den Bürgersteigen rund um die Schule und nehmen Sie an der frischen Luft und zu sehen, wenn Sie wollen."



Here is an English version of it:
"Hi Katherina, I wrote this letter in German, just for you. Would you mind if I walked with you to your next class? We could even walk outside on the sidewalks around the school and take in the fresh air and view if you want."

[KamisoriX]

now that was funny. girls like funny guys so go for it

[Gazz]

Kami, please help him with the translation. It's a grammical error fest and you as a German could help him.

[64705]

LOL. Mate just ask her yourself in English.

[Richard_Rahl]

Kami, please help him with the translation. It's a grammical error fest and you as a German could help him.

Yeah, Kami. Gazz is right. We (i.e. Kami, Me and if possible Gazz) should try to prevent Ezri from seeming to be like a fool to that girl. Translation machines are a bad thing in this case.

"Sie" for example is the polite form of "you" and not used by tenagers among each other.

The phrase "schrieb ich dieses Schreiben in Deutsch, nur für Sie." is something you best omit from your note, cause it will make you sound a bit too kid-like and silly.

Oh, and the rest can best be done more directly I think. --> "Hast du Lust auf eine Wanderung, nur du und ich?"

Though I think it is the best to take as little risk as possible when it comes to seeming like a fool, thus you better do what 64705 already said, and keep it on English.

[Slaymate]

While I agree that it would be nice of you guys to help him with his English. I think it would be nicer to convince him not to write her a note at this stage of the game.

@ Ezri

You have already met her and established yourself as an acquaintance. This means you have already completed the hardest step, she knows who you are. She'll be more impressed if you'll act a few years older than you are, which means do not send her a note in this stage of the relationship. Be a man, just walk right up to her and say hello, ask her hows her day is going, engage in small talk. Look her in the eyes, smile. If she smiles at you, smile back and maybe wink at her. Acknowledge any response from her, which means you have to be paying attention to her. Don't look at your feet and or hands and don't mumble. You'll know when it's an appropriate time to send her a note, you won't have to ask us.

[KamisoriX]

While I agree that it would be nice of you guys to help him with his English. I think it would be nicer to convince him not to write her a note at this stage of the game.

@ Ezri

You have already met her and established yourself as an acquaintance. This means you have already completed the hardest step, she knows who you are. She'll be more impressed if you'll act a few years older than you are, which means do not send her a note in this stage of the relationship. Be a man, just walk right up to her and say hello, ask her hows her day is going, engage in small talk. Look her in the eyes, smile. If she smiles at you, smile back and maybe wink at her. Acknowledge any response from her, which means you have to be paying attention to her. Don't look at your feet and or hands and don't mumble. You'll know when it's an appropriate time to send her a note, you won't have to ask us.

why do people who are single always think they know it best?
Here is a tip from a pro and she either likes and go for it or she doesn't. Ask her to go with you to see a movie or just go for dinner or so. simple stuff. You kids always make things far to hard. yopu think to much into things that are beyond simple by nature.

[reikalee]

Free translators aren't always reliable. It's simply like MSWord's spellcheck feature.

But I do like the meaning of your note. ^^ Go for it, dude! I wish you the very best.

[KamisoriX]

where is the update to the whole story?